Where is your light

I remember with my first counselor, he asked me, ” if I had a light inside me, would I place it on a hill for all to see?” I told him “no, I wouldn’t, because I don’t think I have a light that people would want to see.” He said, “would you place your light under a bushel?” I said, “no, I wouldn’t even light it, because there is nothing in me to see.” He said, “he would fight against me on that statement.” I have thought a lot over the years about what he said. I could not understand what he could possibly mean. In speaking with my current counselor it hit me again, tonight. I looked at her tonight and there was this light from her that I could not deny. I was so puzzled by it. I kept asking myself, where did it come from and has it always been there? On my drive home, I began looking at the differences between the way that light would cast itself out as far as it could into the darkness and the darkness would resist the light with all its might.

In my life, I have noticed that those that professed their love to me the most, have been the ones that have hurt me the deepest. But they are also the ones that did not want their behavior exposed to the light.  I have also noticed that I have not been imprisoned by the fear of exposing the abuse that has happened to me or my children. I have been willing to draw the light to the heinous behavior of those actors of violence. This has not been easy or without a price, because the darkness always tried to push out the light. Each time I have taken action, this phrase, “Evil cannot dwell within the light”, keeps surfacing in my head. I don’t know where I have heard it, but it stays with me. I know for me, I could not live with myself if I left the evil, that I encountered, to stay hidden in the darkness for someone else to come upon.

I saw first hand tonight, a person in my life, that radiates light. I was blessed to see it. I know that we can have light in our lives. With this light there comes a strength beyond our own and we are able to do things that we at first thought impossible. I am not sure if or what light I have, but I pray that one day I will understand it well enough to be a beacon, as my counselor reflected to me tonight.